Fighting Feelings I Can't Define

I watched the sea pass us by at what could have only been described as a snail’s pace, the only sounds coming from the crew and from the choppy water against the sides of the ship. We’d only not long lost sight of land. Another three weeks until we arrived in Boston; another three weeks on my father’s ship; another three weeks with his disgusting crew, who looked at me like I was their next meal. I was bored, nauseous (not just because of the sea) and I just wanted to be on steady land. I closed my book in my hands and turned away from the sea, thinking about how I’d have preferred to stay at home, not looking where I was going before colliding with something hard, dropping my book to the deck. I blushed scarlet when I saw who it was I had collided with.

“Master Kenway, forgive me, sir. I was not looking where I was going,” I spluttered out at the man standing in front of me. He smiled ever so slightly before he bent down to pick up my book for me, handing it over.

“All is forgiven, no harm done,” he said and I smiled back before walking round him to go back to my cabin when he spoke again. “Forgive me, my dear, but you look like you have a lot on your mind. Are you well?” I turned back to him and stared at him for a few moments. He seemed to have genuine concern in his eyes. I looked down at my book in my hands, flicking the page edges with my finger.

“I did not want to come on this journey. My mother died just some weeks ago and my father did not want to stay in London. So we are on route to Boston so he can pawn me off to a rich suitor,” I said. Why was I telling a stranger this? I shook my head. “I’m sorry, Master Kenway...”

“Haytham, please,” he said, stepping closer and taking my hand, pressing a kiss to my knuckles. I felt my cheeks become warm. “I already know who you are.”

“Yes, well, Haytham. I better head back to my cabin. I am sure I shall see you on deck again,” I said, bowing my head to the man gently before I hurried off with my book before I said something stupid in front of him. He was very handsome and distracting. I did bump into him often over the first week, although not as full on as the first time. He left his cabin more often now and I didn’t blame him. I was going stir crazy in my own cabin. I had dinner with my father most nights but other than that, I barely saw him. I spent more time with Haytham than anyone else. He was fascinating and always had a story to tell. Once more, I lay in my cabin, looking out of the small window at the night sky, the shine from the crescent moon casting its light on the floor. I got up and slid my feet into my shoes and my robe over my nightgown before I moved out into the main corridor. I cast a glance at Haytham’s cabin door, knowing he’d be sleeping soundly, or trying to if he was anything like me. I moved to the upper deck, only the helmsman present at the wheel and a man in the crow’s nest. The sea was still now, the silence deafening. I sighed gently and let the soft breeze ruffle my hair.

“It’s beautiful, no?” a familiar voice said from beside me and I turned to see Haytham come and stand beside me. His appearance shocked me for a moment. He had no hat and most of his outer layers were missing on his top half, leaving him in a billowy white shirt, which was unbuttoned half way down his chest. He was beautiful.

“What is?” I asked, swallowing hard.

“The moonlight on the calm sea; makes for a very pretty picture,” he said and I nodded in agreement. “I’d have thought you’d have been asleep. It’s late.” I shrugged my shoulders in a very unladylike gesture.

“I cannot sleep. I worry, Haytham. What if my father has someone already lined up for me? I don’t want him to marry me off to just anyone. What happened to romance and flowers and down-on-one-knee proposals? I feel like he’s selling me, like I’m a burden to him,” I told him. “Are you married?” I blushed a little, knowing how forward I was being. He smiled gently and shook his head.

“No, I am not married,” he said. He turned to look at me properly and pressed a hand on top of mine. “Your father will think he’s doing the best for you. Maybe you should talk to him.” I looked down at our hands, his significantly bigger one on top of my petit one, before looking back up at his face, mostly at his lips. “It might not be all bad...”

“Kiss me, Haytham,” I said so quickly that it took me a moment to realise I had actually said it. He stared at me for a moment, his expression not changing in the slightest. I turned away from him once again, mostly to hide my embarrassment before I felt him move closer to me. He cupped my cheek and brought my face back round to his and lowered his lips slowly to mine, his kiss a soft whisper against my lips, as if he was judging whether it was alright to press further. I pushed closer first, closing the gap between our lips completely. His mouth was the sweetest I’d ever kissed (not that I’d kissed many) and I never wanted to part. My hand curled in the loose fabric of his shirt as he opened his mouth against mine, our tongues meeting. I sighed happily against his lips at the touch and he moaned ever so gently in response. I wanted more. I wanted that mouth all over me; I wanted his hands touching me everywhere. As if he read my mind, he pulled back from the kiss, lips red and gasping for breath, and he took my hand, leading me below deck towards his cabin. I followed quickly, looking around to see if anyone had seen us. I was pulled into his cabin quickly and the door was closed before he was on me again, pressing his body close to mine. His hand quickly pushed my robe off my shoulder before they went to the ties of my nightgown, pausing for a moment.

“Do you want this?” he asked. “We can stop this now if you want to, just tell me.” He was so considerate of my feelings but I wanted this more than anything. I stepped forward and kissed him again, hands attacking his shirt and pulling it over his head, leaving his toned chest on show in front of me.

“Does this answer your question?” I asked, running my hand over his half had cock still confined in his trousers. He closed his eyes at the touch and swallowed hard as I squeezed him a little in my hand.

“Well, yes, I believe it does,” he said, a hitch in his voice. He wrapped his arms around me, kissing me once more; holding me close and slowly undoing the ties on the back of my nightgown, letting the full thing fall to the floor, the only clothing left on my person was my underwear. I managed to keep my hands away from my nude breasts. I wanted to cover them from his eyes but he looked at me like I was the most beautiful thing on Earth. He looked me up and down for a moment when I hooked my thumbs into my underwear and pulled them down, letting them fall to the floor. He took a deep breath as I stood completely nude in front of him. “You are quite something, my dear,” he said in a husky voice, his arousal obviously heightening. I smiled and stepped up to him, taking his hand and guiding it between my legs, pressing his fingers hard against my clit. We both gasped at the same time, Haytham surging forward to kiss me as I parted my legs a little more, holding onto him so I didn’t fall. His fingers stroked experimentally, before they moved faster, sliding through my wetness easily. I moaned against his lips when his fingers entered me, the feeling oh so foreign. He whispered little words of encouragement against my lips and I felt him curl his fingers inside of me, my legs trembling as he moved them faster. His mouth was on my neck, biting and licking, down my shoulder leaving marks from his teeth as he went.

“Haytham, please. Fuck me...” I begged him as I felt the build up of my impending orgasm deep in my belly. He chuckled against my skin and his thumb stroked my clit as his fingers pump in and out of me and I was gone, gasping into his shoulder, holding onto him for dear life as my whole body trembled and shuddered. Never had I felt anything like it. But Haytham wasn’t done with me yet. His trousers were unbuttoned quickly and he pulled out his hard cock, my eyes widening at his size. Then he grabbed me and lifted me, my legs around his waist as he pushed me into the wall to keep me up. He lined up his cock with my entrance and pushed slowly inside, his eyes almost rolling back in his head at the feeling. He didn’t give me much time to adjust as he began moving inside me, pulling almost clean out again before pushing back in hard and fast. He was a drug and I was addicted to him, the feel of his body against mine. He took one of my nipples in his mouth and he bit down, not too hard, but hard enough to produce a loud cry from me. I thrusted my fingers into his hair, pulling slightly, strands falling out of his ribbon that kept it neatly tied back. “Haytham, faster! Make me yours,” I whispered to him and he fucked me relentlessly, hard and passionate against the wall. It didn’t take long for my orgasm to build once more, his following quite quickly. His breath became laboured as he moved fast inside me and he began to moan out loud, his arms tightening around me as he buried his head between my breasts. “Haytham!” I managed to keep the loud cry down inside me as I came hard, clenching around him which made him let go too, hot and pulsing inside me. He shook gently in my arms, his muscles trembling as he came hard. I held him tight, legs still around his waist as he came back to himself. He pulled back to look at me, stealing a long, languid kiss from me, just tasting each other. He gently slipped out of me and let me down, my legs still trembling. He let go of me and he moved over to the bed, removing his boots and dropping his trousers completely. I watched him for a moment before I moved to gather my nightgown and robe, ready to put them on.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I was going...” I said and pointed to the door. He shook his head.

“Stay...” he asked as he climbed into the little bed, definitely not built for two. But who was I to refuse. I slid in beside him and curled around his warm body, both of us slightly breathless. “Besides, we still have another two weeks on this blasted ship for me to get to know you better.” I blushed gently. I liked the sound of that.

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