No Second Thoughts

It had been another night of silence, another night of sitting in front of the fire alone with my book, mind wandering and wondering what I had done to be where I was now. I felt trapped in a loveless marriage, although it was not me who felt no love for my spouse. I loved my husband with my whole heart and had for the entire time we had been married. I knew it was a marriage of convenience for him, but I had been in love with him for a long time.

Crawford Starrick was a very wealthy and influential man, but he was not getting any younger. A man of his stature and age could not be seen without a wife. Who would give him children, the future captains of industry who would eventually take over his businesses when he was too old to do so? We had been married for a few days short of a year and our relationship was civil, yet strained. He kept his distance. We ate together on a rare occasion when he wasn’t working and he never ever shared my bed. Our marriage had never been consummated. He had kissed me once and that was on our wedding day.

I watched the fire crackling in the hearth, thinking about how I could get him to open up to me a bit more. I snapped my book closed and with a sigh, put in on the table. I wanted to be his wife, not someone who was merely a convenience for him. I got up and proceeded to pace around my room before I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror.

I moved closer, noting how tired my eyes looked. I sighed gently. I was still young, not unattractive and, even though I wasn’t a virgin, had barely known the touch of a man. I watched myself in the mirror as I slowly removed my clothing until I stood bare. I unpinned my hair and let it fall over my shoulders before taking a good look at myself. I was curved in the right places; my breasts were ample and finely shaped and my skin soft and pale. I knew it wasn’t my body that was the problem; he had never seen me naked before. I ran my hands over my hips, across my stomach and down a little before stopping myself.

I had had enough. I grabbed my robe and pulled it on, covering myself. I had made up my mind. I was going to make him look at me, speak to me, acknowledge my existence more than he did.

I was his wife after all.

I tied my robe before I left my room, bare feet padding down the corridor towards his office. I stopped outside and took a deep breath before lifting my hand and knocking three times. There was no answer for a good few moments and I feared he hadn’t heard me so I raised my hand to knock again when his silky voice called out, muffled slightly by the thick door.


I opened the door slowly, moving into the office. Crawford was speaking suddenly and I looked up to see him addressing our butler, Philip. Philip nodded to the Grandmaster before bowing his head gently.

“Very good, Sir,” he said. “Good night.” He looked at me and smiled gently. “Goodnight, my Lady.”

“Good night,” I replied with a smile back and he left through the door I had just come through, closing it behind him. I was now alone with Crawford and the butterflies in my stomach had decided to wake up. He was writing a letter, his gaze fixed on the paper in front of him. I was scared to speak first, not knowing what to say to begin with. I suddenly jumped when he broke the silence first, not looking up from his letter.

“Are you well, my Lady?” he asked and I swallowed hard, feeling like I had a lump in my throat.

“Very well, thank you,” I managed before pausing once more. I had to say what I needed to say or I never would. I sighed gently. “Won’t you come to bed?”

“I shall retire for the evening when I finish here,” he said, gaze still fixed on that damned letter.

“Will you come to my bed?” I asked and he took a deep breath and finally looked up at me, his icy-blue eyes staring right into my soul. “We’ve almost been married a year, Crawford, and in that year you have never shown me an ounce of affection. Not once.”

“Listen ...” he began but I stopped him in his tracks.

“No, Crawford. You listen,” I snapped and he went silent. “I am still your wife.” I held up my hand to show him my wedding ring. “You put this on my finger and you made me promises as I did with you and you can’t even hold my hand or kiss my cheek. You never come near me. Have I offended you in some way that I have to stand here and beg for my husband’s affection? Am I merely what our marriage suggests; a convenience?”

“How can you think that?” he asked me.

“Is there any way for me to think otherwise?” I replied. I stepped closer to his desk. “I love you, Crawford.” His eyes widened rather comically before his forehead crinkled as he frowned.

“Why?” he asked and I was taken aback. “I have never given you a reason to.”

“Is it so unbelievable that someone could love you?” I ask him and he sits back in his chair and looks down at the letter on his desk for a moment.

“Yes, because no one ever has,” he said quite simple and I felt deep sorrow for him in that moment. I bit my lip and felt my skin heat up as I anticipated my next move. I took a deep breath and untied my robe, letting it fall to my feet and leaving me naked in front of my husband. He barely moved but his breath caught and his eyes roamed as my cheeks began to burn.

He was as unmoving as the dead, and I was too, before his gaze dropped once more and I began to panic. Maybe he didn’t want me at all. Oh God, what had I done? I quickly knelt to pick up my robe, covering myself and sighing deeply, feeling tears form in my eyes. I was so embarrassed.

“I shall be in my room. I’m sorry,” I said and quickly headed for the door when he spoke.


I stopped, unable to deny that voice anything, hand on the door handle. I didn’t dare turn around but I heard his chair creak as he stood and his footsteps n the wooden floor, coming towards me. Then I thought I would melt on the spot when his hands slid over my shoulders and down my arms, pressing his chest against my back.

He had no idea how much I had longed for a simple touch like this and, now, here we were. I felt the press of his nose against my neck, the tickle of his facial hair against my skin as I tilted my head, letting him have better access. This was what I wanted. He turned me in his arms suddenly and I faced him, our eyes meeting before he leaned into kiss me, our lips meeting for the first time since our wedding day. I felt my whole body press forward against his as my arms wound round his neck, running my fingers over the rough, shaved hair at his nape before sliding higher to the longer strands. He walked me backwards until my back hit the door, his body pinning me to the mahogany.

His kiss was passionate and he tasted like tea, his tongue swiping against mine, Crawford humming gently in his throat. He pulled back and looked down at me, both of us breathless. His hands went to the tie on my robe but he paused.

“You want this?” he asked, a slight uncertainty in his eyes.

I want this, Crawford. But I want you to want this too,” I told him. “If you don’t, I understand and I can go back to my room and pretend this never happened.”

I prayed that wouldn’t be the case. He stared for a moment before he undid my robe, baring my naked body to him again. I blushed scarlet but he kissed me again, his hands on my hips, sliding round to my bottom as he pressed his clothes hips against mine.

Clearly he did want this as certain parts of him were already more than interested. His kisses became deeper and more open-mouthed than I had to gasp for breath but there was no way in hell I wanted him to stop. My hand grabbed his shirt and pulled it open, a few buttons ripping from the material in my haste to get to his bare skin. He cared not and I let my hands roam through his chest hair and over his hot skin.

He pulled back and slipped his suspenders down before he held me, our lips finding eachother’s again. Then his fingers were between my legs and stroking gently.

I moaned his name against his lips before his mouth moved to my neck and down my shoulder, biting my skin gently. Two fingers slid inside me, my wetness easing the way. He moved his fingers inside me, my moans lifting in volume as his fingers moved faster. Then his fingers were gone and we both hastily untucked his shirt and pushed his trousers down to his thighs, baring his hard cock.

He lifted one of my legs around his waist, my other foot barely on my tiptoe on the floor as he held me up against the door with his body weight. I took his bottom lip between my teeth as he lined up with my entrance and pushed inside, my teeth biting down a little harder than I meant to as he hit home. We were breathing heavily against eachother’s mouths from our fevered touches and kisses, my arms around his neck, holding myself up. We both paused to get used to the feeling of each other, the tip of Crawford’s nose touching mine as we stared at each other.

“My beautiful wife ...” he said and I could feel tears forming. “How could you think that I would not want you?”

“I’m sorry that it has taken a year for us to get here,” I breathed. I pressed my breasts against his chest, moving my lower half against his hips in a hint for him to move. The door pressed uncomfortably into my back but my robe cushioned it a little as we began to move together. He slid out of me easily and back in, I was so wet.

My forehead pressed against his, mouth open as I gasped and sighed and moaned. His arms slid round my back, under my robe and he held me close, pulling me away from the door and carrying me over to his desk, pushing what he could manage off it before he lay me down on my back on the surface. I reached above my head to grip the other side of the desk as he began to pound into me like a man possessed, gripping my hips so hard I knew they’d bruise. His cheeks were red and he was breathing heavily, sweat appearing on his brow and chest. I wrapped my legs around his waist bringing him closer to me and he let go of my hips, placing his hands on the desk at either side of me, leaning down to take one of my nipples in his mouth.

I moaned out loud as the pressure built up inside me, like a rope pulled tight and ready to snap. His rhythm began to stutter and I sat up best I could and kissed him once more, my fingers going to my clit to rub furiously until I was coming hard around him, mouth open in a silent scream against his, body trembling violently. He held me tightly and he came hard inside me after a few more thrusts, grunting and moaning into my neck as I held him, fingers running through his hair

We stayed in eachother’s embrace for a good while before he pulled out of me and rearranged himself, running a hand through his hair as I closed my robe around myself, getting off his desk on shaky legs. I met his eyes and he pulled me in for a kiss once more, a sweet, loving one like on our wedding day.

“I will retire for the evening, husband,” I said. “Won’t you come with me?”

“I will be right there,” he said. “I don’t want to see that ...” He pointed to my robe, “on your person when I come in.” I smiled and nodded.

“Understood,” I said. I turned to leave when he spoke once more.

“I do ... love you, you know?” he said and I could only smile at him before retiring back to my bedroom, waiting on my husband to join me.

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